August 20, 2019

In this day and age, being single is now harder than being in a relationship.

It appears that we grow up in a society where emphasis is on the career we pick, the life we capture on our social media accounts, and the (high) salary we earn. And if we cannot obtain these things, we are judged for them: too lazy, fearful, unmotivated. I don’t deny there is a balance on staying motivated and working hard versus being overly ambitious and risking everything for the goals. But do we judge too harshly for other people’s failures and successes? Is the element of kindness and compassion lost in this world of ambition and hustle? This over-emphasis on this status quo of a lifestyle has meant we lost our innate ability to connect with each other. We become so good at selling ourselves, negotiating and debating. We forget what it means to respect our differences in opinions; what it means to connect with no other ulterior motives and simply share knowledge, experiences, stories. Our drive to achieve supersedes our innate ability to connect through love. Do we remember what it means to build a healthy relationship (whether romantic or platonic)?

Being 28, and still simply “dating”, I can see the struggles of reaching a phase in my life where the friends around me are marrying or starting families. I am one of the rare “singles”. The struggle is the lack of acceptance in being single. It becomes such a dangerous slope when envy dictates my wants and suddenly I’m rushing a relationship that is nothing but perfect. I’m rushing it and not respecting myself or my partner’s journey–and our journey; I lose sight of the importance of acceptance in myself and where I stand in life. Joy does not exist in life through comparison. We must learn to accept our own marital status in life so that we can focus on self-love, self- care and growth. Shut out the murmurs of others and begin living the life we are destined to live. We all are on such different paths; we must respect each other and ourselves to understand why we are where we are. And if we are unhappy with our positions in life, be able to push past our fears and learn to embrace vulnerability, and then make the changes necessary for a brighter path.

None of this is an easy feat. I know. But I want to continue to remind myself that I cannot rush the process of life. Honour my failures to help me grow, allow respect and kindness to follow my hustle–because let’s be real: I’d rather keep my friends to celebrate my successes with them, right?! I want respect to rule my heart and vulnerability lead the path to new opportunities and exploration.


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