April 24, 2019

I’m writing this post from the living room on a Wednesday afternoon. Why? Because I’ve been going through a minor relapse for the last five days. It wasn’t as bad as last year’s, however, it hasn’t been very fun. It started with sudden overnight chills and an aching back. The aching back was persistent and fatigue washed over me and hung onto me like anchors on a ship. My headaches came back and the tingling spread to my extremities. I’ve been in such discomfort since the relapse has started. Luckily for me, extra strength Ibuprofens have helped settle the aches, along with Salonpas strips. I’ve never been a napper but with my relapses, I turn into the nap queen. It’s all I can really manage to do: stay in bed, watch Netflix and nap whenever I feel comfortable enough.

I hate how sudden these relapses are. I can go from feeling “normal” to feeling like a sick person, stripped of their independence. I have tried not to cry but the tears still make their way to my eyes. I get scared in the midst of these relapses. I forget that my MS is real, until it affects me in such a way that I have to miss work for it; like I have to put my life on hold while it dictates how well I can live my life.

To get through my relapse, I tell myself that I am 28, young and strong. I have the ability to get through challenges and come out on the other side with even more strength and resilience. I am supported, I am filled with love and hope. I shed my tears, but I am not going to give up.

….now excuse me while I go lay in my bed again.


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