It’s Christmas eve tonight. Usually, I would be scrambling with last minute holiday wrapping, card writing, and baking. However, this year is the first year in a long while where I feel completely empty of such excitement. My heart isn’t in it at all. It took me a while to recognize that I was forcing myself to be in the holiday spirit.
This December has been monumental in that I was promoted. I was promoted into a new role which took me out of my comfort zone completely: administrative to case management–and boy, has it been a ride these last couple days. I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed with the new job that it is literally all I think about. It’s made me doubt my own intellect and my abilities to take on this role. I’m fearful of failing, and not being able to live up to this role.
I know change is not easy. This Christmas, I’m particularly finding it challenging to accept this positive change. I’ve had to say goodbye to some of the best people I’ve met in the last three years; they truly have supported me these past three years. It’s been so hard. Being in the new office has made me feel so alone and scared. But, I’m trying. I’m trying to focus on the good.
So tonight, I’m letting myself slow down and not worry about whether I’m in the Christmas spirit or not. I’m giving myself permission to get some mental rest.
I hope all my readers have a happy holiday season! Whether you’re big into celebrating or not, wishing you all a safe and magical time.