I think I’m stuck on an emotional roller coaster.
I can feel myself begin to get restless as I’m counting the days since all this happened. I’m closing in on 4 weeks now and while nothing has gotten worse, it definitely hasn’t gotten better. This mysterious illness has forced me to take time off work, step down as a Shelter Movers Director, and I had to drop my course that I was taking for my certificate program. I invested a lot of myself into those different roles, subconsciously associating my work with who I am. Take them away and I suddenly feel naked and purposeless.
UPDATE: I went for a follow up today. The doctor cleared me for work so I can go back Tuesday. I’m a little fearful of the workload again. However, a part of me is relieved I guess. Because if this was permanent, then coping is something I’ll have to do eventually–can’t hide at home forever!