day f i v e

Something happened over night.

I’m not exactly sure what it was or how it happened but it was a result of pessimistic thoughts filling the cool night air while I tossed and turned. Perhaps, in the moment of pure surrender did my mind finally feel liberated from the list of questions I had kept track of.

I woke up this morning dizzier than yesterday but that didn’t stop me from tossing the blanket away and getting out of bed. I made my first cup of coffee since the health issue had begun–like I was beginning to grasp my own independence back again. Funny how we can easily take advantage of the small things in life.

And I felt so relaxed and at peace as I laid on the floor beside Mischa while he took his morning nap. It was in that moment that I realized I had forgotten what it felt like to be still, in the present moment with no worries at all. I spent the last year furiously running around that I forgot how important silent moments are. As I laid there, I felt my heart fill with gratitude: how rare and precious are those moment of bliss? The amount of love that surged within was indescribable.

On another note…ever since I got sick, I ditched the makeup routine. It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve properly looked at myself in the mirror and I came to a realization that I have (unknowingly) started to accept the new me. I look in the mirror and I see that I don’t need the extra makeup or accessories that distract me from my actual being. And despite begin sick with this mysterious illness, I have been feeling this profound sense of self confidence in myself. How ironic. Being “naked” in my own skin, sleeping more, and doing less has completely changed the complexion of my skin altogether. It’s incredible. I have to admit, it’s quite liberating to see myself in this whole other light–very different!

I’m hoping that these small realizations, as I begin my journey in healing, will help to remind me of what’s most important in life. I definitely fell off the path long time ago and it’s finally time for me to mend what I’ve broken.

Is there one small thing you can do to contribute to a healthier you?


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