Yesterday was an emotional day. There were moments I found myself giving pep talks to myself and then there were moments where I would break down because I was feeling sick of being bedridden, nauseous and dizzy.
Regardless of how sad I get though, I recognize that I have an amazing support system and I am very grateful. I continue to reflect on the last couple of months and I can’t help but think that perhaps this is a blessing in disguise: an opportunity to stop everything and focus on myself and only myself.
On another note: last night, I braved the shower–by myself. Because the migraine has left me quite dizzy 24/7, it’s taking me some time to adjust to the new norm. I constantly have to fixate on one spot so I don’t feel so nauseous. And when the wave of nausea hits, I take deep breaths as a way to reset my body. I managed to have a full shower and it was the biggest accomplishment since the beginning of this mysterious illness. It has made me very thankful for all the times I was able to do these simple things with ease.
I’m faced with a long road to recovery and I’m surrendering myself to the Universe. I cannot fight what I cannot change. As Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity prayer states:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
What are you grateful for today?